Parashat Hayyei Sarah 5770
The Profound Word
Howard S. Joseph
http://TheProfoundWord.com
Abraham’s Other Family
In memory of Elliot Khadoury at his Sheloshim
Throughout the telling of the Abraham, Sarah and Isaac story the Torah weaves another tale: Abraham’s other family. This one contains Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael. It is clear that Sarah has great problems with Hagar and Ishmael. She senses Hagar’s condescension towards her and she fears a malevolent influence upon Isaac hanging around the older and wild Ishmael. As we read last week, this leads to the other family being banished to a place called Be’er Lahai Roi. It is not a happy tale.
The story is told with a great deal of ambiguity. Is this banishment solely a result of an impetuous Sarah overly protecting the son of her old age? What are Abraham’s true feelings on the matter?
When Sarah tells Abraham to send her away he is puzzled.
But the matter greatly displeased Abraham, concerning his son.?And God said to Abraham, “Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice, for in Isaac will be called your seed. [Gen?21:11-12]
Neziv makes two important points on these verses.
“Concerning his son: For Sarah said ‘she and?her son’ implying that Sarah wanted Abraham to treat Ishmael according to the status of his mother whom she considered a servant; her son would follow her status and not follow the father’s rank. However, Abraham knew this not to be the case at all for she had been freed [by Sarah] and Abraham took her as a [full] wife; that is why the Torah mentions throughout ‘his son’.”
However, Abraham knew that Isaac was to be the bearer of the covenant. Isaac had to be protected and trained for his mission. Sarah’s concerns had merit. What should he do?
Then he treats the phrase, ‘whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice’:
God does not say ‘shema lekolah, which means to follow her words,…, but shema bekolah which means to analyze and understand her words [i. e., after analysis you will decide what to do - hsj]
After analysis, Abraham indeed agrees with Sarah. Therefore, it is not her decision alone. Abraham has accepted her main contention that although he considers Ishmael as a son, the issue here is greater: who will inherit the mission, destiny and vision of Abraham. The banishment is his responsibility as well as Sarah’s. If Hagar and Ishmael can cause a subversion of that destiny then they have no place in Abraham’s home.
But Ishmael is not out of the picture. As Abraham’s son,
“But also the son of the handmaid I will make into a nation, because he is your seed.” [13]
The story is quiet for a while. Isaac matures. The Akedah. Finally, Sarah dies. Abraham searches for a wife for Isaac. Rebecca emerges as the next matriarch and Isaac is comforted over the loss of his mother.
As this happens, the ‘other family’ plot returns. As Rebecca arrives in Canaan, she meets Isaac coming from Be’r Lahai Roi. The Sages interpret this to mean that he went to bring Hagar back to re-marry his father! [Gen?24:62]
After Isaac’s wedding, chapter?25?begins:
And Abraham took another wife and her name was Keturah.
Here Rashi brings the midrash [Gen. Rabbah?61:4]?This is Hagar.
Hagar is back! A reconciliation process is happening. Now, what about Ishmael? Did Isaac look for his older brother when he went for Hagar? Maybe. But we have to wait a while to see the results.? We have to wait for Abraham’s death to realize that there was a reconciliation.
Abraham expired and died in a good old age, old and satisfied, and he was gathered to his people. ? Isaac and Ishmael his sons buried him in the Cave of Makhpelah in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, which faces Mamre. [8-9]
Rashi again cites the?Sages view of this as another sign of reconciliation:
(Gen. Rabbah?30:4,?38:12) From here [we may deduce] that Ishmael repented and let Isaac go before him, and that is the meaning of ?a good old age? which is stated regarding Abraham. [In?15:15?Abraham is promised that he will be buried in 'good old age.]
In other words, Abraham lived to see the return of Ishmael. That was his ‘good old age’.? However, the return was made according to the vision of Sarah and Abraham that Isaac must be the leader of the family. So, Isaac’s name before Ishmael suggests that Ishmael had accepted his secondary role to Isaac.
Furthermore, after Abraham’s death we are told:
Now it came to pass after Abraham’s death, that God blessed his son Isaac, and Isaac dwelt near Be’er Lahai Roi. [11]
Isaac and Ishmael are living near each other.
Finally, we are told the following in verse?12:
These are the generations of Ishmael the son of Abraham….
Neziv takes this opportunity to reiterate Ishmael’s place in Abraham’s view:
I have already explained that Scripture is precise in many places? that for Abraham [Ishmael] was considered a son and not the child of a servant. But as far as Sarah and her son were concerned he was considered to be in the rank of the son of a servant.
I am not sure if this is correct about Isaac’s perception of Ishmael based on what we saw above. It would seem to me that Isaac was indeed searching to reconnect with his brother Ishmael albeit on the new terms now that the covenant was securely in his hands for the future. He may have come to share Abraham’s view that indeed Ishmael was a true son. [The addition of 'benah',? her son, could be a printing error.]
Interestingly, when Ishmael’s death is described, similar phrases are used to the deaths of the righteous ancestors:
... and he expired and died and was gathered to his people. [17]
His people indeed.
Some profound words for this week.
Shabbat Shalom
Shabbat Shalom and thank you for this perspective!
I am glad you enjoyed it
Thank you Rabbi Joseph for this!
My question is about the continuation of the story about the relationship between Hagar (Keturah) and Abraham. The Torah tells us that Abraham ” took a wife whose name was Keturah”; as we saw in your commentary, Rashi equates Keturah with Hagar. A few psukim later, however, the Torah tells us that Abraham gave gifts to “the children of the concubines”. (Rashi notes the the word concubines is spelled defectively indicating that the Torah really means just one concubine, Hagar). There is, however, a contradiction that we need to try to resolve: if Abraham had taken Keturah as “wife” then why are their children called those of “concubines”? Rashi makes a point suggesting that they may have gotten married without a ketubah, which, as he says, was the practice when a man married a concubine. Even so, the difficulty still remains because the Torah calls Keturah Abraham’s wife in the first place!
One solution may be that Abraham had a prophetic insight and foresaw the important role that Midian would play in helping Israel in the future. Moshe was taken in by the Midianites after fleeing Egypt and he married Zipporah, the daughter of Jethro, the Midianite high priest. In order to make sure that Midian would be in this position to help Israel in the future, Abraham had to separate him from Isaac. However, it would not have seemed right to send off only Midian but not the other 5 children whom Keturah bore to Abraham.
The importance of this separation may be alluded to by the word “plagsim”.
Immediately, after this event, i.e. the separation of Keturah’s children from the family, the Torah tells us that Abraham dies. Indeed, his mission now was accomplished. Having ensured that Isaac would have friends and allies in the world (Midian) who would come to his aid in times of need, Abraham could pass on.
Have a safe journey and shabbat shalom
well thought out. I would love to hear other comments on this too.
Hi Gershom,
Shabbat is now over in Israel. I looked over the text and I think the following:
Yes, the links to Midian and others like Ashur are important in future history. Howeverr, despite their connections they are not always friendly to say the least.
Also, I think that w ehave toi realize that Abraham had a large household and retinue and was able ot muster an army of 318 men. SO there must have been lots of male and female servants around with lots of children.
The Torah teaches uis that Abraham dealt well with them and made sure they were taken care of. His hesed extended to them all. But the central figures of the story remain Isaac and Ishmael for the next generation.
Finally, Neziv returns to the Ishmael issue a few sentences later where he does say that Isaac did consider Ishmael as a full brother. After Sarah’s death he adopted Abraham’s position towards Ishmael.
Shavua tov